I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm at about main and main street
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize