NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize