I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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