I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
you made out with another girl for some wings
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
