She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
