The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
