I just cut my nipple shaving
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
