Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize