I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
