I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
