So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
