I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
