new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
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