You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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