So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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