I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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