I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
