shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
