I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
