as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
