If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
why is half of my head shaved?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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