we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
