Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
