i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize