My liver just broke up with me...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
