chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
