I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
