my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
That accounts for only three of the penises
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize