Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
