rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
