The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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