I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
