I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you didnt know i had herpes?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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