At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
