So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just found a bag of teeth...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize