tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
