Will you blow on my dice?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
