If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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