it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
