I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
