Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
did i just pee glitter
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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