oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
