"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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