Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
