bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Randomize
