he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
