I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
