Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
