Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
