We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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