we have officially lost it.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Did I show you my penis last night?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
