I need help removing her.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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