found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
