I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
