I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
