YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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