i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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