Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
