Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
