Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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