You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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