I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
