I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize