Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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