we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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