just tell him i said nine months
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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