it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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