I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
