We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
im holly from the hills drunk
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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