Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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